What Pinterest didn’t teach me about being a bridesmaid.

Being a bridesmaid is much more of a commitment than it first seems. But in the excitement and in the midst of all the cuteness, when your close friend “pops the question,” you don’t have a choice but to squeal and jump up and down! You get to stand by her on one of the most important days of her life!! How COULD you say no?! Who would WANT to?!

But I’ve now been a bridesmaid twice, and the thing I’ve learned the most is that being a bridesmaid doesn’t stop when your bestie says, “I Do” That’s just the beginning.

Now sure, picking out dresses and colors and flowers and center pieces are all part of the fun. (Don’t get me wrong… I have four wedding boards on Pinterest and they are organized and color-coded and could put yours to shame.) But your bride asked you to stand by her for a reason; and I believe, when you stand by her on her big day you are committing to stand by her and for her in these four ways:

You promised to stand up for her marriage. This means when things aren’t all dandelions and roses, you’ve committed to be the friend that reminds her of her promise. You remind her of her vows, and that marriage can’t always be a honeymoon. You comfort her and love her, but you remain standing for the covenant that she maybe can’t in that moment.

You promised to stand up for her husband. You defend him when she’s forgotten to or when others aren’t. I’m not saying every girl gets upset and let’s loose on her hubby’s flaws. But I am saying everybody has to vent every once in a while. And when she calls you, you give her a judgment-free space to talk things out, but you keep her accountable for her words towards her man, because he deserves that. Sometimes a bridesmaid can be the only one to remind a bride of that.

You promised to stand by her. When life throws a curveball, accidental or not, explainable or not, you stand with her. This is the best part. Life is hard, and her husband can’t always be the super hero. It’s not even his fault why life got hard. But sometimes, a gal just needs her friends. So don’t lose touch just because she’s got bigger commitments now. She loves you and needs you, and if we are honest, you need her too.

You promised to stand in prayer with her. For her marriage; for her husband; for her; for their future family; and for her extended family. When the preacher man looked out into the crowd and asked for any objections, and you didn’t oppose, that meant you were for them. That meant you lifted them up as a blessing from God, and would always support them. And if I’ve learned anything about friendships, it’s that prayer can be the best comfort you can offer.

So to Katie and Melanie, I love you and I hope you’ve already known I stood for you in these ways. And to Laura, and now Lisa, I raise my glasses to you and your fiancés. I love y’all!