It is 3:08 in the morning as I write this. An inner battle just took place in my mind. A spiritual battle is what I am referring to.
The Evil One is good at his job and he comes in all shapes and sizes. Clever. I will at least give him that. He is very clever.
As the inner turmoil is just beginning the Holy Spirit inside of me is quick to differentiate between my thoughts, the Spirit’s thoughts, and the Evil One’s thoughts. The conversation within me continues as I am merely a spectator now. Minutes go by while the Geology pages turn. As I am about to turn the page I realize that my eyes passed over the words but they were not read. My mind was else where. I will even admit to having highlighted and starred and added notations to where my subconscious thought my conscious would place them if it were present. I decide to wait until the conversation in my head was over before I continue with homework. There really isn’t much point. Once the three of us get started it’s hard to stop us until a decision is made.
For you see, the Deceiver is getting stronger. I can tell that as his lies are whispered they some how seem to continue to make the truth sound softer. Soon enough they sound roughly about the same volume. My own mind joins in. Reminding the two gentleman in the room that I am still there. This was a big mistake. Now the Deceiver can focus on me instead of continuing to argue with the Almighty. I should have let Him handle it. As he talks I can hear the soft echo, “that’s not true.” “are you really going to believe that?” I know that what he is saying is wrong. My conscious is FULLY aware that lies are being spoken to me, but for some unexplainable and irrational reason I still desire to listen to his treachory. As my decision was made and my walls went up, pushing the Holy One away. I knew I had lost this round. And as soon as the battle was over. The Liar retreated. Leaving me standing in the middle of the room. Without him to defend me as I faced the judgement. He had left me alone and hurt. Facing the reality of what I am. Flesh.